Songs of the Past
Amanda Meyer
__________
She used to scratch lyrics
into her flesh, afraid she’d forget
them, the way her brain wears
rose-colored glasses when she
tries to remember the past.
Before that she’d write songs
on the thigh of her jeans
instead of keeping her eyes
on the road. Now she just
listens to songs on repeat
until she can recite every word,
nail every note, and turns the volume
up for the parts that will hurt
the most, screaming along
until her throat feels
like sandpaper. Better to give
herself whiplash to music than
to bang her head against the wall,
which she’ll swear she’s never
done, but her poor memory tells
a different story. If she had taken
notes every time he lost his temper,
maybe she’d remember, but she was
too busy pressing straight edges
into her wrists to write anything
down. She could have used blood
but she traded razor blades
for tattoo needles, words and images
in black and white to cover the angry
red scars she left behind,
though she can’t quite remember why.
___________
Playlist song: Anberlin, “Dismantle. Repair.”
__________
Amanda Meyer (formerly Brown) is a copywriter moonlighting as a poet in her hometown of St. Louis. She’s a music lover, violinist, and “elder emo.” Amanda has had poems appear in Querencia Press and Sunday Mornings at the River anthologies.
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Posted in All Music: Espressivo '24 and tagged in #boudin, #music, #poetry