• Facebook
• Instagram

The Ghost of Proust in Mom’s Room

Mileva Anasatasiadou

__________

Proust doesn’t talk but he’s taking notes. He stares at Mom like she owns wisdom, and I stare at him, like he can teach me. He once had it all, then lost everything, then spent his days chasing after whatever was lost.

Proust was young when he lost it all and I’m young too, but in loss years. He was still young when he died, but life was already enough, an excess of life, an excess of death, or death in life.

Proust doesn’t talk because he’s a ghost. Mom talks but she doesn’t recognize me. Mom finds life tiring, and I find death tiring, but the ghost of Proust shakes his head, like he disagrees, as if saying, neither life or death are exhausting, but death in life is.

Proust’s watching me feed Mom and he smiles, like saying, that’s how it feels, because he knows what it’s like to lose. Mom looks at him and she smiles, like saying, you never grew old enough to forget, because Mom knows loss too, she’s lost too much already, and she’s found a better way to deal with excess loss.

Proust clings to the past, chasing lost time, but Mom is sick, she’s sick of grieving and running after what’s missing, and she knows better, because she’s old and wise enough to know how to let go.

__________

Mileva Anastasiadou is a neurologist, from Athens, Greece and the author of We Fade With Time and Christmas People by Alien Buddha Press. Her work has been selected for the Best Microfiction anthology and Wigleaf Top 50 and can be found in many journals, such as The Forge, Necessary Fiction, Passages North, and others. She’s the flash fiction editor of Blood+Honey and the Argyle journals.

__________

<< Back Next >>

To learn more about submitting your work to Boudin or applying to McNeese State University’s Creative Writing MFA program, please visit Submissions for details.