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Bryce Berkowitz

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Broad Ripple, Toxic Masculinity, & The Uber Driver That Asked About the Snow

To:           Isn’t it always the father, the mother?
From:       Isn’t it always the man behind the drapes?
Date:        They didn’t even know it was my birthday.
Subject:   Broad Ripple, Toxic Masculinity, & The Uber Driver That Asked About the Snow       

The purpose of this poem-memo is to poem-memo then oblivion or rather sleep well without the badger balm, to badger balm my temples without the verbiage, to react without fumbling my addictions—all in hopes to receive a positive review on my annual instructor evaluation.

Summary

In a swan stretch at 3 AM, one may wonder how pain happens. I think we’re always just talking about that. Then, there are the ethical considerations of you’re not alone in your pain. There was the job interview, of course; outside Walgreen’s—in a hood without Naked juice. Another kind of Indy gray. The dismantling conversation of, “Fucking Trump. What else is there? He’s a lunatic.” And somehow, I’m in a slate suit, drinking Champagne Velvet. But what do I know? My mother can’t remember my brother’s name and it’s not because a pot of boiling water, the prelude to a scream, or there’s more than one wrong heaven. There are so many stories I can’t share with you.

Discussion

And so, at breakfast, a discussion of punk rock
—seventies to nineties. When I mention Op Ivy,
this isn’t going anywhere.
Maybe I’m feeling the weight of Patachou-white,
Indianapolis pressed like a penny on a freight rail, or maybe
my student mentioning life as a roustabout in a cyclone oil field.
This visit will be anything but a slim volume of so sad things.
But then again, teaching is not an engineering problem,
although my engineering students still pray
beneath bleeding-green northern lights.
And so, I share Deresiewicz anyway: For all the skill
that teaching involves, you ultimately only have
a single tool: your entire life as you have lived it
up until the moment you walk into class.       

Recommendation

So, how do we market a poet who doesn’t publish in a genre they teach?
And I think about all the students I’ve taught—their faces, a lecture-hall blur
—all in fields unlike my own. What’s the real issue:
how do I matter? I think I don’t
and I think I do, and I think of middle finger marketing as youth.
But research is an anvil,
and writing doesn’t fit inside a little box.
But, what can I do? Fork berries into my mouth.
IL > CA > WV > MT; and how it ends
with a handshake—a life that finally happened: >IN.                                       —Bryce Berkowitz

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Dear Standard Parts of a Workplace Letter—the hell do you know(?)

1 Effort to Better Manage
the Interior and Exterior Self
Butte, Montana 59701

It’s April now, & so boredom comes.

Dear Standard Parts of a Workplace Letter—the hell do you know(?),

I have examined the damage to my life caused by the ruptured care & currency to care for others & consider the following repairs to be necessary & of immediate concern:

Exterior:

• Remove the soft siding caused by bad habit, by gravity, by seasoned fries
• Replace the damaged skin & teeth with new wave biodegradable forms of plastic
• Remove all built-up resentment corroding the faulty memory
• Replace downtime with clouds dissolving in the sky

Interior Bedroom—Lower Level, the Self:

• Remove & replace aggrandizement with selflessness, including the closet
• Remove & replace all carpet, toxic masculinity, and baseboards
• Remove & repair general positivity, windowsill extensions, and moldings
• Remove & reinstall long walks with dog and electric heaters
• Reseed lawn & revisit relationship with mother

This appraisal of damage repair does not include sobriety efforts or the replacement of spring mix in the diet, tile work in the bathroom, or early morning prayers to a higher power. Also, this appraisal assumes that the subflooring on the main floor has not been severely damaged due to excessive pacing caused by general mismanagement of self-care or uncertainty about the future.

This proposal is to furnish the necessary materials & labor to perform the described damage repairs in the amount of the weightless soul &/or equal to a lifetime of payments in weekly installments of panic, anxiety, and general regret caused by social miscues.

If you have questions or concerns, that’s normal; although doubt will do what you hope it won’t.

Sincerely,

Bryce Berkowitz, President of Self

BB/bb Encl. Itemized Repair Estimate

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Bryce Berkowitz is the author of Bermuda Ferris Wheel, winner of the 42 Miles Press Poetry Award (forthcoming 2020). His short story “Payback for Mongoose Charlie” recently won the 2019 Big Muddy | Southeast Missouri State Mighty River Short Story Contest. He teaches at Butler University. He can be reached at his website.

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