{"id":21365,"date":"2025-11-24T19:34:06","date_gmt":"2025-11-25T01:34:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/?p=21365"},"modified":"2025-11-30T21:05:03","modified_gmt":"2025-12-01T03:05:03","slug":"solomon-and-the-cheese-arm","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/solomon-and-the-cheese-arm\/","title":{"rendered":"Solomon and the Cheese Arm"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<ul class=\"wp-block-social-links is-content-justification-right is-layout-flex wp-container-core-social-links-is-layout-765c4724 wp-block-social-links-is-layout-flex\"><li class=\"wp-social-link wp-social-link-facebook  wp-block-social-link\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/profile.php?id=61556140010887\" class=\"wp-block-social-link-anchor\"><svg width=\"24\" height=\"24\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.1\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" aria-hidden=\"true\" focusable=\"false\"><path d=\"M12 2C6.5 2 2 6.5 2 12c0 5 3.7 9.1 8.4 9.9v-7H7.9V12h2.5V9.8c0-2.5 1.5-3.9 3.8-3.9 1.1 0 2.2.2 2.2.2v2.5h-1.3c-1.2 0-1.6.8-1.6 1.6V12h2.8l-.4 2.9h-2.3v7C18.3 21.1 22 17 22 12c0-5.5-4.5-10-10-10z\"><\/path><\/svg><span class=\"wp-block-social-link-label screen-reader-text\">Facebook<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n\n<li class=\"wp-social-link wp-social-link-instagram  wp-block-social-link\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/boudin_mcneese\/\" class=\"wp-block-social-link-anchor\"><svg width=\"24\" height=\"24\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.1\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" aria-hidden=\"true\" focusable=\"false\"><path d=\"M12,4.622c2.403,0,2.688,0.009,3.637,0.052c0.877,0.04,1.354,0.187,1.671,0.31c0.42,0.163,0.72,0.358,1.035,0.673 c0.315,0.315,0.51,0.615,0.673,1.035c0.123,0.317,0.27,0.794,0.31,1.671c0.043,0.949,0.052,1.234,0.052,3.637 s-0.009,2.688-0.052,3.637c-0.04,0.877-0.187,1.354-0.31,1.671c-0.163,0.42-0.358,0.72-0.673,1.035 c-0.315,0.315-0.615,0.51-1.035,0.673c-0.317,0.123-0.794,0.27-1.671,0.31c-0.949,0.043-1.233,0.052-3.637,0.052 s-2.688-0.009-3.637-0.052c-0.877-0.04-1.354-0.187-1.671-0.31c-0.42-0.163-0.72-0.358-1.035-0.673 c-0.315-0.315-0.51-0.615-0.673-1.035c-0.123-0.317-0.27-0.794-0.31-1.671C4.631,14.688,4.622,14.403,4.622,12 s0.009-2.688,0.052-3.637c0.04-0.877,0.187-1.354,0.31-1.671c0.163-0.42,0.358-0.72,0.673-1.035 c0.315-0.315,0.615-0.51,1.035-0.673c0.317-0.123,0.794-0.27,1.671-0.31C9.312,4.631,9.597,4.622,12,4.622 M12,3 C9.556,3,9.249,3.01,8.289,3.054C7.331,3.098,6.677,3.25,6.105,3.472C5.513,3.702,5.011,4.01,4.511,4.511 c-0.5,0.5-0.808,1.002-1.038,1.594C3.25,6.677,3.098,7.331,3.054,8.289C3.01,9.249,3,9.556,3,12c0,2.444,0.01,2.751,0.054,3.711 c0.044,0.958,0.196,1.612,0.418,2.185c0.23,0.592,0.538,1.094,1.038,1.594c0.5,0.5,1.002,0.808,1.594,1.038 c0.572,0.222,1.227,0.375,2.185,0.418C9.249,20.99,9.556,21,12,21s2.751-0.01,3.711-0.054c0.958-0.044,1.612-0.196,2.185-0.418 c0.592-0.23,1.094-0.538,1.594-1.038c0.5-0.5,0.808-1.002,1.038-1.594c0.222-0.572,0.375-1.227,0.418-2.185 C20.99,14.751,21,14.444,21,12s-0.01-2.751-0.054-3.711c-0.044-0.958-0.196-1.612-0.418-2.185c-0.23-0.592-0.538-1.094-1.038-1.594 c-0.5-0.5-1.002-0.808-1.594-1.038c-0.572-0.222-1.227-0.375-2.185-0.418C14.751,3.01,14.444,3,12,3L12,3z M12,7.378 c-2.552,0-4.622,2.069-4.622,4.622S9.448,16.622,12,16.622s4.622-2.069,4.622-4.622S14.552,7.378,12,7.378z M12,15 c-1.657,0-3-1.343-3-3s1.343-3,3-3s3,1.343,3,3S13.657,15,12,15z M16.804,6.116c-0.596,0-1.08,0.484-1.08,1.08 s0.484,1.08,1.08,1.08c0.596,0,1.08-0.484,1.08-1.08S17.401,6.116,16.804,6.116z\"><\/path><\/svg><span class=\"wp-block-social-link-label screen-reader-text\">Instagram<\/span><\/a><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-large-font-size\"><strong>Solomon and the Cheese Arm<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>Eli S. Evans<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">__________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><em>An adaptation of a story from <\/em>Le Petit Nicolas<em> series, by Ren\u00e9 Gosciny, with input from Eli Evans&#8217;s son<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">__________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">We didn\u2019t have school this morning, but that wasn\u2019t any fun because instead we had to we had to go to a special laboratory so that scientists could determine whether our arms were made out of flesh or cheese. At school, we\u2019d each been given a piece of paper to take home to our parents explaining that there was a rumor going around that certain students\u2019 arms may have actually been made out of cheese, and teachers had to figure out if it was true because if it was, they needed to make sure it didn\u2019t get so hot at school that the poor student\u2019s limb melted. Our teacher told us that the scientists were going take a small bite out of each of us and assess the taste and texture to determine whether they had eaten flesh or cheese.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">When my dad and I got to the laboratory, we were met by Jeff, Tom, Frank, Tyler, Francisco, and Mike, and they weren\u2019t having much fun. Personally, I never enjoy getting bit, and I know for a fact that Tyler also dislikes it very much. I know this because once he was bit at school and he yowled out in pain and was in a bad mood for the rest of the day. Maybe that\u2019s why he was whimpering fearfully. A very nice lady dressed in a mouse costume asked to see all the parents and collect our birth certificates, and said that the scientists would see us soon and to please not be impatient. That was okay, because we weren\u2019t a bit impatient \u2013 especially Tyler! While we waited, our parents chatted and patted us on the heads and complimented us on our courage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cI\u2019m certain my son\u2019s arm is not made of Cheese,\u201d said Francisco\u2019s mom. \u201cAfter all, he\u2019s been drinking a lot of milk recently, and somebody made partially of cheese drinking milk would practically be like cannibalism. Believe me, he\u2019s no cannibal!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cOn the other hand,\u201d said Frank and Tyler\u2019s dad, \u201cmaybe he drank so much milk that it curdled and turned his arm into cheese.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cI don\u2019t know about that,\u201d said my dad. \u201cSolomon has been eating a ton of cheese recently and he hasn\u2019t turned into milk. Just look at him. He\u2019s solid as can be!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cHe may not be milk,\u201d said Jeff and Tom\u2019s mom, \u201cbut he could turn into yogurt.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cWell,\u201d said my dad, \u201cat least he wouldn\u2019t have to worry about any melting, in that case, unlike someone in this room.\u201d He looked at Jeff and Tom suspiciously.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Jeff and Tom\u2019s mom didn\u2019t look as if she liked what my dad had implied, but before she could reply, the lady in the mouse costume came in and said we could begin rolling up our sleeves in preparation for the bites.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Tyler shrieked, and that got the rest of us shrieking too, just like the way one howling wolf can get the hole pack whooping at the moon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">At that, the scientists appeared.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cWhat is all this,\u201d asked the scientist. \u201cReally, what a trial these school cheese examinations are. Now stop shrieking, fellows, or I\u2019ll tell your teacher to yell at you until your eardrums bust. Come on and roll up those sleeves.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">We rolled up our sleeves and began comparing biceps.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cCheck out my muscle,\u201d said Mike. \u201cIt\u2019s bulging out against the skin like an angry anaconda.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cThat\u2019s not very impressive,\u201d said Jeff. \u201cYou\u2019re just flexing. Look, I can do it, too.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Jeff flexed his arm and a little muscle popped out, just like Mike\u2019s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cHmm,\u201d said my dad. \u201cAre you sure that\u2019s a muscle, because from here it looks like a little lump of cheese.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Jeff and Tom\u2019s mom looked at him like she was smelling a fart and suspected him of having dealt it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cOkay, children,\u201d said the lady in the mouse costume. \u201cGo into the next room and the scientists will chomp you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cI want my dad to go with me!\u201d yelled Tyler, who was starting to smell a lot like cheddar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cAll right, all right,\u201d said the lady in the mouse costume to Tyler\u2019s dad. \u201cYou can go in with him, but please try to calm him down.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cExcuse me, please,\u201d said Mike\u2019s dad. \u201cIf that gentleman can go in with his son, I don\u2019t see why I can\u2019t go in with mine. After all, I\u2019m quite hungry.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cI want my mom to come, too!\u201d shouted Francisco.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cStop copying my brother,\u201d said Frank, and punched him right in the snout.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cOuch! Ouch! Ouch!\u201d shouted Francisco, and one of the scientists came racing in from the chomping room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cBoy oh boy,\u201d said the scientist. \u201cFive minutes ago, everyone was so confident they weren\u2019t made out of cheese, and now look at what\u2019s seeping out of this boy\u2019s injured nose. That\u2019s sour cream or my name isn\u2019t Dr. Monger!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cLook here, mister,\u201d said Francisco\u2019s mom. \u201cI\u2019m responsible for this child regardless of what comes out of his nose, and I plan to definitely not put whatever it is on my burrito!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">The scientist looked angry, but he took a deep breath and simply told us go into the chomping room without further delay. He started sniffing us one by one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cHmm,\u201d he said, pausing after taking a big whiff of Mike. \u201cYou first.\u201d He opened his big mouth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cHold on,\u201d protested Mike. \u201cI probably smell like cheese because I had cheese on my sandwich for lunch today!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cJust let him take his chomp,\u201d said Mike\u2019s dad. \u201cAnd if you do, I promise I\u2019ll give you a brand new phonk record as a reward.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cHey,\u201d I called out. \u201cIt\u2019s okay. You can chomp me first.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">The scientist paused. \u201cFirst, let me have a whiff of you. I haven\u2019t smelt you once yet.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">He approached me with his nose moving back and forth in the air like a dog\u2019s. After one deep sniff, he reared back, opened his mouth, and took a big bite out of my bicep.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cYum yum,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">I peered into the wound \u2013 and that was when I knew the rumor was true.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cDad,\u201d I cried. \u201cHow could this have happened?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">He shrugged. \u201cI always said cheese was my favorite food. I guess some of it got into my genes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Anyway, everything worked out fine, because in this northern climate there\u2019s really no risk of melting, and most importantly, whenever I get hungry, I have a free snack close at hand \u2013 now if only that lady in the mouse costume would stop following me around everywhere!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">__________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>Eli&nbsp;S.&nbsp;Evans<\/strong>&nbsp;publishes his absurdist fictions and other oddities all around the internet. Two books of stories,&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/moonrabbitbooks.com\/product\/obscure-irregular\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>Obscure &amp; Irregular<\/em><\/a>&nbsp;and&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.moonrabbitbooks.com\/product\/stories-about-various-individuals-in-particular-situations-pre-order-september-2023\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>Various Stories About Specific Individuals in Particular Situations<\/em><\/a>, have been published by Moon Rabbit Books &amp; Ephemera. His son Solomon, who collaborated with Eli on this story, is in the fourth grade (for now).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>__________<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignleft size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"438\" height=\"211\" src=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/37\/2024\/01\/boudin-logo-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-15484\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/37\/2024\/01\/boudin-logo-1.jpg 438w, https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/37\/2024\/01\/boudin-logo-1-300x145.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 438px) 100vw, 438px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center has-large-font-size\">&lt;&lt; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/2025\/11\/30\/outlook-good\/\">Back<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/sweeney-among-the-alley-cats\/\">Next<\/a> &gt;&gt;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">To learn more about submitting your work to <em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/boudin-submissions\/\">Boudin<\/a><\/em> or applying to McNeese State University&#8217;s Creative Writing <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/mfa-application-submissions\/\">MFA program<\/a>, please visit Submissions for details.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Solomon and the Cheese Arm Eli S. Evans __________ An adaptation of a story from Le Petit Nicolas series, by Ren\u00e9 Gosciny, with input from Eli Evans&#8217;s son __________ We didn\u2019t have school this morning, but that wasn\u2019t any fun because instead we had to we had to go to a special laboratory so that&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":42,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[248],"tags":[75,146,26],"class_list":["post-21365","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-when-in-rome-nov-25","tag-boudin","tag-fiction-2","tag-fiction"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21365","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/42"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21365"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21365\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21631,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21365\/revisions\/21631"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21365"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21365"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21365"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}