{"id":20259,"date":"2025-07-22T11:07:59","date_gmt":"2025-07-22T16:07:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/?p=20259"},"modified":"2025-08-26T12:41:50","modified_gmt":"2025-08-26T17:41:50","slug":"thalassophilia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/thalassophilia\/","title":{"rendered":"Thalassophilia"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"has-large-font-size\"><strong>Thalassophilia<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-social-links is-content-justification-right is-layout-flex wp-container-core-social-links-is-layout-765c4724 wp-block-social-links-is-layout-flex\"><li class=\"wp-social-link wp-social-link-facebook  wp-block-social-link\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/profile.php?id=61556140010887\" class=\"wp-block-social-link-anchor\"><svg width=\"24\" height=\"24\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.1\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" aria-hidden=\"true\" focusable=\"false\"><path d=\"M12 2C6.5 2 2 6.5 2 12c0 5 3.7 9.1 8.4 9.9v-7H7.9V12h2.5V9.8c0-2.5 1.5-3.9 3.8-3.9 1.1 0 2.2.2 2.2.2v2.5h-1.3c-1.2 0-1.6.8-1.6 1.6V12h2.8l-.4 2.9h-2.3v7C18.3 21.1 22 17 22 12c0-5.5-4.5-10-10-10z\"><\/path><\/svg><span class=\"wp-block-social-link-label screen-reader-text\">Facebook<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n\n<li class=\"wp-social-link wp-social-link-instagram  wp-block-social-link\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/boudin_mcneese\/\" class=\"wp-block-social-link-anchor\"><svg width=\"24\" height=\"24\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.1\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" aria-hidden=\"true\" focusable=\"false\"><path d=\"M12,4.622c2.403,0,2.688,0.009,3.637,0.052c0.877,0.04,1.354,0.187,1.671,0.31c0.42,0.163,0.72,0.358,1.035,0.673 c0.315,0.315,0.51,0.615,0.673,1.035c0.123,0.317,0.27,0.794,0.31,1.671c0.043,0.949,0.052,1.234,0.052,3.637 s-0.009,2.688-0.052,3.637c-0.04,0.877-0.187,1.354-0.31,1.671c-0.163,0.42-0.358,0.72-0.673,1.035 c-0.315,0.315-0.615,0.51-1.035,0.673c-0.317,0.123-0.794,0.27-1.671,0.31c-0.949,0.043-1.233,0.052-3.637,0.052 s-2.688-0.009-3.637-0.052c-0.877-0.04-1.354-0.187-1.671-0.31c-0.42-0.163-0.72-0.358-1.035-0.673 c-0.315-0.315-0.51-0.615-0.673-1.035c-0.123-0.317-0.27-0.794-0.31-1.671C4.631,14.688,4.622,14.403,4.622,12 s0.009-2.688,0.052-3.637c0.04-0.877,0.187-1.354,0.31-1.671c0.163-0.42,0.358-0.72,0.673-1.035 c0.315-0.315,0.615-0.51,1.035-0.673c0.317-0.123,0.794-0.27,1.671-0.31C9.312,4.631,9.597,4.622,12,4.622 M12,3 C9.556,3,9.249,3.01,8.289,3.054C7.331,3.098,6.677,3.25,6.105,3.472C5.513,3.702,5.011,4.01,4.511,4.511 c-0.5,0.5-0.808,1.002-1.038,1.594C3.25,6.677,3.098,7.331,3.054,8.289C3.01,9.249,3,9.556,3,12c0,2.444,0.01,2.751,0.054,3.711 c0.044,0.958,0.196,1.612,0.418,2.185c0.23,0.592,0.538,1.094,1.038,1.594c0.5,0.5,1.002,0.808,1.594,1.038 c0.572,0.222,1.227,0.375,2.185,0.418C9.249,20.99,9.556,21,12,21s2.751-0.01,3.711-0.054c0.958-0.044,1.612-0.196,2.185-0.418 c0.592-0.23,1.094-0.538,1.594-1.038c0.5-0.5,0.808-1.002,1.038-1.594c0.222-0.572,0.375-1.227,0.418-2.185 C20.99,14.751,21,14.444,21,12s-0.01-2.751-0.054-3.711c-0.044-0.958-0.196-1.612-0.418-2.185c-0.23-0.592-0.538-1.094-1.038-1.594 c-0.5-0.5-1.002-0.808-1.594-1.038c-0.572-0.222-1.227-0.375-2.185-0.418C14.751,3.01,14.444,3,12,3L12,3z M12,7.378 c-2.552,0-4.622,2.069-4.622,4.622S9.448,16.622,12,16.622s4.622-2.069,4.622-4.622S14.552,7.378,12,7.378z M12,15 c-1.657,0-3-1.343-3-3s1.343-3,3-3s3,1.343,3,3S13.657,15,12,15z M16.804,6.116c-0.596,0-1.08,0.484-1.08,1.08 s0.484,1.08,1.08,1.08c0.596,0,1.08-0.484,1.08-1.08S17.401,6.116,16.804,6.116z\"><\/path><\/svg><span class=\"wp-block-social-link-label screen-reader-text\">Instagram<\/span><\/a><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>Selene Sezer<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">__________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">I remember the day you asked me if I already knew how I\u2019d die.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">I assumed you were simply starting a conversation and would follow up a second later with your own answer. But no. You, with your green shimmering eyes, fixed on me. I was both confused and perplexed by the way you looked at me so attentively.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cI\u2026 don\u2019t know,\u201d I stuttered and then \u201cI am hoping that I\u2019ll feel fulfilled with life,\u201d I added while gazing at your face to gauge whether my response actually satiated your curiosity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cNo.\u201d You shook your head fast and in disappointment. Even then, your charm had lain in your tenacity, \u201cNo, I asked how. You know\u2026 as in the cause of death,\u201d you added, and I could see your impatience building.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">You didn\u2019t want to hear \u2018I don\u2019t knows\u2019 or \u2018how would I knows\u2019. You wanted a well thought-out answer as the ones woven with both logical reasoning and sensory details so you could actually imagine details of my final seconds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">I never told you that you were my first childhood memory. I remember the day, so vaguely, but I remember: I hit you on the head, really hard, with a metal spoon that I stole from the second kitchen drawer and four-year-old you cried for two hours straight without telling anyone the reason why, not even a soul.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">I never let you that you were my first adolescent cover-up, a perfect one, and first go to alibi: I told my parents I was staying over at yours, but in reality, we raved in the woods until the sun rose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">You were always there and ready for me \u2013 whether I called to praise my first victory or to wail about my first loss. You were the person I absent-mindedly found on the other end of the telephone line when I needed to talk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">We were sitting on a bank at the end of the pier, which was illuminated by lamp posts, one after another, with their warm-yellow, dimmed glows. I couldn&#8217;t answer how I thought I would die. Instead, I let my gaze drift to the black waters of the moss-scented sea, as living was, perhaps still is, when the things we needed to deal with were only contemplative.<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center has-medium-font-size\">                                                        *       *       *<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><br>You know me; you know my affinity for the seas and oceans and my thrill of diving into salty depths: they call it thalassophilia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Going swimming in the early mornings, when the blue vasts were silent, still, and chilled because of the sleeping sun. That was our favourite time. We created our own silly competitions: holding our breaths, surfacing smooth white stones from the seafloor, mouthing sentences underwater. It was a mystery to me how effortlessly you could dive, how well you had taught yourself such things when no one else in your family could even swim. Of course, I hid my admiration, just as I hid so many other things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">You see, I\u2019m Mediterranean on both sides of my family. People born in waters like us know how to dive and hide things deep, so deep that we wouldn\u2019t dare dive back down to face what we once buried.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center has-medium-font-size\">* * *<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">I had no idea what possessed me that early August morning. I woke up, and though<br>the sun was just on the edge of the horizon, I could tell its imminent rise was about to happen<br>from the colours streaking the sky. Next thing I remember, since the weather was scorching<br>even that early morning and I was still half asleep, I leapt off the pier into the water. The<br>water was still cold from the night before. I broke the surface and gasped, the air combining<br>with the salty taste of the sea on my lips.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">I didn&#8217;t hear anything; I didn&#8217;t even check the way I had just come, but in that brief<br>moment, I sensed, I knew you were coming right behind me. I heard you splash, and then you<br>were there too, in the water, looking at me. I smiled, and you smiled back, but you saw<br>through me, as always.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">&#8220;What&#8217;s wrong?&#8221; you asked, a puzzled look of scrutiny on your face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">&#8220;I wish I could breathe underwater&#8230; to breathe like a fish, like I could somehow use<br>the liquid oxygen in the water and stay below as long as I wanted,&#8221; I said in a sulky voice,<br>without hesitation. &#8220;I know it&#8217;s irrational, but it&#8217;s making me feel&#8230; kinda mad,&#8221; I added,<br>because I knew you&#8217;d ask; because I had already rehearsed my response for the fishes below.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">&#8220;You&#8217;re silly,&#8221; you replied with a huff, relieved now that you had truly thought<br>something was wrong. &#8220;No, I&#8217;m not. Maybe I could, you know, breathe underwater. Maybe I<br>just need to try again and again until I evolve,&#8221; I snapped back in a bold, daring tone, a sly<br>but faint smile tugging at my lips.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">You simply shook your head, making it clear you didn\u2019t take me seriously. And then I<br>dived. You dived after me. I saw you watching me underwater, and I made sure you were<br>watching closely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group is-vertical is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-8cf370e7 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-group is-vertical is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-8cf370e7 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">          I didn&#8217;t think twice. Even now, I don&#8217;t know what I was experimenting with, or proving, or what I was ecstatic about. When I breathed in the salty water through my mouth, bubbles clouded my vision at first. Then, a burning sensation turned into aching, pinching pain, first behind my throat and then, slowly spreading, to my lungs. I felt the fire. I saw the blue flames cupping my body and soul in the water. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">The rest blurred into a haze. I remember you dragging me from the water and dropping me onto the pebbled beach like a heavy sack. While I coughed up water again and again, I could feel the rough edges of the pebbles digging into my back, like a failed attempt at stabbing me. Finally, with a full breath in my lungs again, I was alive, or at least conscious<br>enough to realize what was about to happen. Yet, I lay motionless, watching the seagulls twirling in the high skies above us with my half-opened eyes. I was still catching my breath, half in exhaustion, half in shock, when I heard you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">&#8220;What the fuck were you thinking?&#8221; you snapped. You sounded scared. You sounded furious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">I could hear your uneven panting, proof that you were still high on adrenaline. You were enraged, anxious, terrified\u2026 all because of me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">&#8220;I know how I&#8217;d die,&#8221; I replied, and I half-smiled.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">__________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>Selene Sezer<\/strong> an emerging writer from Oslo, Norway, with a background in Behavioral Genetics, like to explore the borderlands of identity and the hidden layers of human experience. She enjoys crafting narratives that blend psychological depth with atmospheric, dreamlike settings, blurring the line between reality and introspection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>__________<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignleft size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"438\" height=\"211\" src=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/37\/2024\/01\/boudin-logo-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-15484\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/37\/2024\/01\/boudin-logo-1.jpg 438w, https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/37\/2024\/01\/boudin-logo-1-300x145.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 438px) 100vw, 438px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center has-large-font-size\">\ud83e\udca0 <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/everyone-at-the-sand-sculpting-contest-imperial-beach-california-1985\/\">Back<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/sidewalk-chalk\/\">Next<\/a> \ud83e\udca1<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">To learn more about submitting your work to <em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/boudin-submissions\/\">Boudin<\/a><\/em> or applying to McNeese State University&#8217;s Creative Writing <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/mfa-application-submissions\/\">MFA program<\/a>, please visit Submissions for details.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Thalassophilia Selene Sezer __________ I remember the day you asked me if I already knew how I\u2019d die. I assumed you were simply starting a conversation and would follow up a second later with your own answer. But no. You, with your green shimmering eyes, fixed on me. I was both confused and perplexed by&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":42,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[40,234],"tags":[75,146,100],"class_list":["post-20259","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hybrid","category-retro-summer","tag-boudin","tag-fiction-2","tag-flashfiction"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20259","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/42"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20259"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20259\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20574,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20259\/revisions\/20574"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20259"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20259"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20259"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}