{"id":19988,"date":"2025-06-25T11:37:10","date_gmt":"2025-06-25T16:37:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/?p=19988"},"modified":"2025-06-27T12:18:20","modified_gmt":"2025-06-27T17:18:20","slug":"there-were-signs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/2025\/06\/25\/there-were-signs\/","title":{"rendered":"There Were Signs"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"has-large-font-size\"><strong>There Were Signs<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-social-links is-content-justification-right is-layout-flex wp-container-core-social-links-is-layout-765c4724 wp-block-social-links-is-layout-flex\"><li class=\"wp-social-link wp-social-link-facebook  wp-block-social-link\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/profile.php?id=61556140010887\" class=\"wp-block-social-link-anchor\"><svg width=\"24\" height=\"24\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.1\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" aria-hidden=\"true\" focusable=\"false\"><path d=\"M12 2C6.5 2 2 6.5 2 12c0 5 3.7 9.1 8.4 9.9v-7H7.9V12h2.5V9.8c0-2.5 1.5-3.9 3.8-3.9 1.1 0 2.2.2 2.2.2v2.5h-1.3c-1.2 0-1.6.8-1.6 1.6V12h2.8l-.4 2.9h-2.3v7C18.3 21.1 22 17 22 12c0-5.5-4.5-10-10-10z\"><\/path><\/svg><span class=\"wp-block-social-link-label screen-reader-text\">Facebook<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n\n<li class=\"wp-social-link wp-social-link-instagram  wp-block-social-link\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/boudin_mcneese\/\" class=\"wp-block-social-link-anchor\"><svg width=\"24\" height=\"24\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.1\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" aria-hidden=\"true\" focusable=\"false\"><path d=\"M12,4.622c2.403,0,2.688,0.009,3.637,0.052c0.877,0.04,1.354,0.187,1.671,0.31c0.42,0.163,0.72,0.358,1.035,0.673 c0.315,0.315,0.51,0.615,0.673,1.035c0.123,0.317,0.27,0.794,0.31,1.671c0.043,0.949,0.052,1.234,0.052,3.637 s-0.009,2.688-0.052,3.637c-0.04,0.877-0.187,1.354-0.31,1.671c-0.163,0.42-0.358,0.72-0.673,1.035 c-0.315,0.315-0.615,0.51-1.035,0.673c-0.317,0.123-0.794,0.27-1.671,0.31c-0.949,0.043-1.233,0.052-3.637,0.052 s-2.688-0.009-3.637-0.052c-0.877-0.04-1.354-0.187-1.671-0.31c-0.42-0.163-0.72-0.358-1.035-0.673 c-0.315-0.315-0.51-0.615-0.673-1.035c-0.123-0.317-0.27-0.794-0.31-1.671C4.631,14.688,4.622,14.403,4.622,12 s0.009-2.688,0.052-3.637c0.04-0.877,0.187-1.354,0.31-1.671c0.163-0.42,0.358-0.72,0.673-1.035 c0.315-0.315,0.615-0.51,1.035-0.673c0.317-0.123,0.794-0.27,1.671-0.31C9.312,4.631,9.597,4.622,12,4.622 M12,3 C9.556,3,9.249,3.01,8.289,3.054C7.331,3.098,6.677,3.25,6.105,3.472C5.513,3.702,5.011,4.01,4.511,4.511 c-0.5,0.5-0.808,1.002-1.038,1.594C3.25,6.677,3.098,7.331,3.054,8.289C3.01,9.249,3,9.556,3,12c0,2.444,0.01,2.751,0.054,3.711 c0.044,0.958,0.196,1.612,0.418,2.185c0.23,0.592,0.538,1.094,1.038,1.594c0.5,0.5,1.002,0.808,1.594,1.038 c0.572,0.222,1.227,0.375,2.185,0.418C9.249,20.99,9.556,21,12,21s2.751-0.01,3.711-0.054c0.958-0.044,1.612-0.196,2.185-0.418 c0.592-0.23,1.094-0.538,1.594-1.038c0.5-0.5,0.808-1.002,1.038-1.594c0.222-0.572,0.375-1.227,0.418-2.185 C20.99,14.751,21,14.444,21,12s-0.01-2.751-0.054-3.711c-0.044-0.958-0.196-1.612-0.418-2.185c-0.23-0.592-0.538-1.094-1.038-1.594 c-0.5-0.5-1.002-0.808-1.594-1.038c-0.572-0.222-1.227-0.375-2.185-0.418C14.751,3.01,14.444,3,12,3L12,3z M12,7.378 c-2.552,0-4.622,2.069-4.622,4.622S9.448,16.622,12,16.622s4.622-2.069,4.622-4.622S14.552,7.378,12,7.378z M12,15 c-1.657,0-3-1.343-3-3s1.343-3,3-3s3,1.343,3,3S13.657,15,12,15z M16.804,6.116c-0.596,0-1.08,0.484-1.08,1.08 s0.484,1.08,1.08,1.08c0.596,0,1.08-0.484,1.08-1.08S17.401,6.116,16.804,6.116z\"><\/path><\/svg><span class=\"wp-block-social-link-label screen-reader-text\">Instagram<\/span><\/a><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong><strong>Jazmine Becerra Green<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">__________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>There Were Signs<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">I.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-left has-medium-font-size\">I went out to dinner<br>with a guy once. Just<br>dinner and check, no<br>other plans. He drove<br>me toward my single<br>apartment, ticking off<br>things we could do to<br>postpone goodnight. I<br>told him the Home<br>Depot on Sunset was<br>open late. I imagined<br>pulling paint chips in<br>Red Willow, Carpe<br>Diem, or Bolero.<br>Stacking squares of<br>cardstock one on top<br>of the other into our<br>open palms. I wanted<br>to tap my fingers over<br>displays, silver studs,<br>grip a driver, handle a<br>thing of power and<br>metal. He looked<br>confused, this small<br>man with doll hands.<br>Why would we go<br>there? For fun, I said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">II.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Wouldn\u2019t that be fun?<br>I stepped up to the<br>plate and arranged a<br>bachelorette party for<br>a friend. A straight<br>friend. It was my first<br>time. Fun and not<br>obnoxious was the<br>goal. So we dined and<br>strolled to a bar<br>\u2014Jumbo\u2019s Clown<br>Room. Leading a<br>stumbling parade of<br>eight straight women<br>and one gay man to a<br>punk burlesque bar.<br>Where the dancers<br>call the shots. Where<br>femme is king. Where<br>reverence reigns. I got<br>nervous. It was my<br>first time. No one<br>wants to, really wants<br>to see glistening man<br>bodies and pelvic<br>thrusts, right? Not me,<br>anyway. Maybe the<br>one gay guy. But he<br>wasn\u2019t planning this<br>party. I was. It was<br>my first time. Male<br>strippers are gaudy<br>unless you\u2019re at a gay<br>club. Then they are<br>fun\u2026 Right? Right?<br>It was my first time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">III.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">According to family<br>lore, one day, when I<br>was three years old, I<br>noticed my grandma\u2019s<br>bosom and asked,<br>\u201cWhat are those?\u201d My<br>mother had a small<br>chest when I was a<br>kid. Grandma, not so<br>much. Maybe my<br>toddler brain noticed<br>Grandma had some<br>thing my mom did<br>not. \u201cWell\u2026 these are<br>my breasts,\u201d she<br>answered. To which I<br>replied, \u201cMove \u2018em<br>for me.\u201d And she did.<br>My dear grandmother<br>obliged to satisfy my<br>curiosity. I have no<br>recollection of this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">IV .<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">I watched The L<br>Word like a weekly<br>service and texted my<br>one queer friend after<br>each episode. We<br>rehashed the drama.<br>She called me Jenny.<br>Closeted writer. Blunt<br>cut bangs. Big eyes.<br>Sweet, unsuspecting<br>boyfriend. I wanted to<br>order coffee at The<br>Planet. Preen. Park<br>my laptop in a corner<br>and tap out fictional<br>tales. Wait for a dyke<br>to coax me out. Call<br>me out. Then Jenny<br>went off the deep end.<br>The story got too<br>weird. You\u2019re not<br>Jenny anymore, my<br>friend said. I don\u2019t<br>write fiction anymore.<br>But I still watch The<br>L Word. Over and<br>over again, like a<br>lullaby humming me<br>back into my body.<br>You were always gay.<br><em>You were always gay.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">__________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>Jazmine Becerra Green<\/strong> is a Pushcart Prize-nominated queer, Chicanx writer and poet. Her work has been published in <em>The Boston Globe, Bust<\/em>, and <em>Hypertext<\/em> among others. She writes a Substack newsletter called Living Room, where she publishes essays on coming out later in life with children. Jazmine is working on a hybrid memoir and lives in Los Angeles with her partner and wildlings. You can find more of her work at <a href=\"http:\/\/www.jazminebecerragreen.com\/\">www.jazminebecerragreen.com<\/a> or <a href=\"http:\/\/jazminebecerragreen.substack.com\/\">jazminebecerragreen.substack.com<\/a>. Pronouns: she\/her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>__________<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignleft size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"438\" height=\"211\" src=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/37\/2024\/01\/boudin-logo-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-15484\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/37\/2024\/01\/boudin-logo-1.jpg 438w, https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/37\/2024\/01\/boudin-logo-1-300x145.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 438px) 100vw, 438px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center has-large-font-size\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/2025\/06\/25\/farmland\/\" data-type=\"post\" data-id=\"19979\">\ud83e\udca0 Back<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/2025\/06\/25\/liberation-will-come-euphoria\/\" data-type=\"post\" data-id=\"20019\">Next \ud83e\udca1<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">To learn more about submitting your work to <em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/boudin-submissions\/\">Boudin<\/a><\/em> or applying to McNeese State University&#8217;s Creative Writing <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/mfa-application-submissions\/\">MFA program<\/a>, please visit Submissions for details.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There Were Signs Jazmine Becerra Green __________ There Were Signs I. I went out to dinnerwith a guy once. Justdinner and check, noother plans. He droveme toward my singleapartment, ticking offthings we could do topostpone goodnight. Itold him the HomeDepot on Sunset wasopen late. I imaginedpulling paint chips inRed Willow, CarpeDiem, or Bolero.Stacking squares ofcardstock&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":42,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[231],"tags":[75,145,18],"class_list":["post-19988","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-pride","tag-boudin","tag-poetry-2","tag-poetry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19988","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/42"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19988"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19988\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20149,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19988\/revisions\/20149"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19988"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19988"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19988"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}