{"id":18446,"date":"2025-01-28T21:26:52","date_gmt":"2025-01-29T03:26:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/?p=18446"},"modified":"2025-01-31T15:21:06","modified_gmt":"2025-01-31T21:21:06","slug":"love-life-and-death-on-the-amazon","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/2025\/01\/28\/love-life-and-death-on-the-amazon\/","title":{"rendered":"Love, Life, and Death on the Amazon"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"has-large-font-size\"><strong>Love, Life, and Death on the Amazon<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-social-links is-content-justification-right is-layout-flex wp-container-core-social-links-is-layout-765c4724 wp-block-social-links-is-layout-flex\"><li class=\"wp-social-link wp-social-link-facebook  wp-block-social-link\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/profile.php?id=61556140010887\" class=\"wp-block-social-link-anchor\"><svg width=\"24\" height=\"24\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.1\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" aria-hidden=\"true\" focusable=\"false\"><path d=\"M12 2C6.5 2 2 6.5 2 12c0 5 3.7 9.1 8.4 9.9v-7H7.9V12h2.5V9.8c0-2.5 1.5-3.9 3.8-3.9 1.1 0 2.2.2 2.2.2v2.5h-1.3c-1.2 0-1.6.8-1.6 1.6V12h2.8l-.4 2.9h-2.3v7C18.3 21.1 22 17 22 12c0-5.5-4.5-10-10-10z\"><\/path><\/svg><span class=\"wp-block-social-link-label screen-reader-text\">Facebook<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n\n<li class=\"wp-social-link wp-social-link-instagram  wp-block-social-link\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/boudin_mcneese\/\" class=\"wp-block-social-link-anchor\"><svg width=\"24\" height=\"24\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.1\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" aria-hidden=\"true\" focusable=\"false\"><path d=\"M12,4.622c2.403,0,2.688,0.009,3.637,0.052c0.877,0.04,1.354,0.187,1.671,0.31c0.42,0.163,0.72,0.358,1.035,0.673 c0.315,0.315,0.51,0.615,0.673,1.035c0.123,0.317,0.27,0.794,0.31,1.671c0.043,0.949,0.052,1.234,0.052,3.637 s-0.009,2.688-0.052,3.637c-0.04,0.877-0.187,1.354-0.31,1.671c-0.163,0.42-0.358,0.72-0.673,1.035 c-0.315,0.315-0.615,0.51-1.035,0.673c-0.317,0.123-0.794,0.27-1.671,0.31c-0.949,0.043-1.233,0.052-3.637,0.052 s-2.688-0.009-3.637-0.052c-0.877-0.04-1.354-0.187-1.671-0.31c-0.42-0.163-0.72-0.358-1.035-0.673 c-0.315-0.315-0.51-0.615-0.673-1.035c-0.123-0.317-0.27-0.794-0.31-1.671C4.631,14.688,4.622,14.403,4.622,12 s0.009-2.688,0.052-3.637c0.04-0.877,0.187-1.354,0.31-1.671c0.163-0.42,0.358-0.72,0.673-1.035 c0.315-0.315,0.615-0.51,1.035-0.673c0.317-0.123,0.794-0.27,1.671-0.31C9.312,4.631,9.597,4.622,12,4.622 M12,3 C9.556,3,9.249,3.01,8.289,3.054C7.331,3.098,6.677,3.25,6.105,3.472C5.513,3.702,5.011,4.01,4.511,4.511 c-0.5,0.5-0.808,1.002-1.038,1.594C3.25,6.677,3.098,7.331,3.054,8.289C3.01,9.249,3,9.556,3,12c0,2.444,0.01,2.751,0.054,3.711 c0.044,0.958,0.196,1.612,0.418,2.185c0.23,0.592,0.538,1.094,1.038,1.594c0.5,0.5,1.002,0.808,1.594,1.038 c0.572,0.222,1.227,0.375,2.185,0.418C9.249,20.99,9.556,21,12,21s2.751-0.01,3.711-0.054c0.958-0.044,1.612-0.196,2.185-0.418 c0.592-0.23,1.094-0.538,1.594-1.038c0.5-0.5,0.808-1.002,1.038-1.594c0.222-0.572,0.375-1.227,0.418-2.185 C20.99,14.751,21,14.444,21,12s-0.01-2.751-0.054-3.711c-0.044-0.958-0.196-1.612-0.418-2.185c-0.23-0.592-0.538-1.094-1.038-1.594 c-0.5-0.5-1.002-0.808-1.594-1.038c-0.572-0.222-1.227-0.375-2.185-0.418C14.751,3.01,14.444,3,12,3L12,3z M12,7.378 c-2.552,0-4.622,2.069-4.622,4.622S9.448,16.622,12,16.622s4.622-2.069,4.622-4.622S14.552,7.378,12,7.378z M12,15 c-1.657,0-3-1.343-3-3s1.343-3,3-3s3,1.343,3,3S13.657,15,12,15z M16.804,6.116c-0.596,0-1.08,0.484-1.08,1.08 s0.484,1.08,1.08,1.08c0.596,0,1.08-0.484,1.08-1.08S17.401,6.116,16.804,6.116z\"><\/path><\/svg><span class=\"wp-block-social-link-label screen-reader-text\">Instagram<\/span><\/a><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>Steve Bernstein<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">__________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><br><strong>10\/14\/15, Amazon purchase: <\/strong><strong><em>Family Life: A Novel<\/em><\/strong><strong>, by Akhil Sharma, Kindle $9.14<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">We were on call for both moms 24\/7. One of the remaining joys my partner and I shared was reading a book together in bed. She read. I nodded off. Dodger lay between us, snoring and chasing squirrels in his dreams.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>1\/23\/16, Amazon purchase: Sleepmaster memory foam getaway premier folding guest bed, $238.90<\/strong> <strong><\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Converted mom\u2019s one-bedroom apartment to accommodate live-in aids. She\u2019s 88. Multiple sclerosis is taking its toll.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>12\/5\/16<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">My brother called, \u201cYou might want to come over. I think mom\u2019s having a hard time.\u201d As usual, my brother\u2019s Asperger\u2019s understated reality. When I got to her apartment, she was writhing on the floor, hallucinating. \u201cWell, it may be her medication.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cWhat about her medication?\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cWe have been trying to get it since Wednesday.\u201d I thought to myself, <em>almost a week without her meds.<\/em>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">I asked, \u201cWhat do you mean, <em>trying to get it<\/em>?\u201d&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cShe called all last week and even had CVS call the neurologist to refill her prescription.\u201d&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cSo, why didn\u2019t he?\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">I could tell he was ashamed and frustrated. I didn\u2019t ask the obvious. That would have made matters worse. I didn\u2019t ask: <em>Why didn\u2019t you call me<\/em>?&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">The med was a narcotic she had been on for 25 years. She was going through withdrawal. My 88-year old mom with MS was going through withdrawal. My mom spiraled downward, never fully recovering.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>2\/9\/17&nbsp;<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Got my mom to the hospice home.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>2\/12\/17, Amazon purchase, Office Star Multipurpose Rectangle Table, 4-Feet Long, Height Adjustable, Center Folding, $58.42<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">My partner of 17 years dumped me. Life and love were always a burden for her. Our relationship, on top of caring for both moms, was just too much. She was getting ready to actualize her thirty-year fantasy of committing suicide after her mother goes.&nbsp; My ex moved into my mom\u2019s apartment, used the folding table as a temporary desk, and for seven weeks, slept on the Sleepmaster Memory Foam cot.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>3\/28\/17&nbsp;<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Mom died.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>4\/3\/17, Amazon purchase<\/strong> <strong>: Hold \u2018Em Up Dog Harness, 35-70 pounds, $100.00&nbsp;<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">At 17, Dodger\u2019s rear legs were shaky. He and I had our first big talk about life and death.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>8\/14\/17&nbsp;<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Dodger\u2019s rear legs finally gave out.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>8\/15\/17&nbsp;<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Dodger said no to food.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>8\/19\/17<\/strong> <strong>Amazon Return:<\/strong> <strong>Hold \u2018Em Up Dog Harness<\/strong>. <strong>35 to 70 pounds, $100.00<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>8\/20\/17<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Dodger and I had our last talk on the floor of the vet\u2019s office. She put the needle into his shoulder. I kissed him, hugged him and told him, \u201cI\u2019ll see you later buddy.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>8\/25\/17&nbsp;<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Dodger\u2019s ashes arrived. The box is sitting on the floor of my office, next to the box with my mother\u2019s ashes. For now.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>9\/5\/17, Amazon purchase: <\/strong><strong>8 x 8 cloth photo album, w\/front picture window, $24.95<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">A birthday gift from my ex to me loaded with 17 years of Dodger photos.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>10\/5\/17 Amazon purchase: <\/strong><strong><em>The Peaceful Pill Handbook: End of Life Strategies, 2016 Edition<\/em><\/strong><strong>, $50.16<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">A birthday gift from me to my ex.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>10\/19\/17<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Got my ex\u2019s mother to the hospice home.&nbsp; Just like with my mom, me and my ex share her care, two doors down the hall from my mom\u2019s old room, 7 months earlier.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>11\/4\/17<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">My ex\u2019s mother died. It was a blessing that she died of congestive heart failure and not dementia. For seven years, as her dementia progressed, it wasn\u2019t uncommon for me to tell a story or joke 10, 15 or 20 times in one sitting. Each time it was brand new. Each time it was a big hit. One of the great gifts from my time with my ex\u2019s mother was that I didn\u2019t need a whole lot of new material. \u201cSomewhere Over the Rainbow\u201d was just the greatest song she had ever heard. Each time as if it were the first time. Hundreds of times we sang it together. She always remembered the words.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>11\/25\/17 Amazon purchase: $19.99<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>Women\u2019s Somewhere Over the\u202fRainbow\u202fTee Shirt, Large Black<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">My ex started planning her suicide wardrobe.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>12\/2\/17, Amazon purchase: Astroglide Organic Oil-Based Personal Lubricant &amp; Sensual Massage Oil &#8211; Experience Pure Pleasure &#8211; Ultra-Hydrating Natural Lubricant with Ylang Ylang Essential Oils, Coconut Oil, and More! $13.99<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">My ex came into our old bedroom as I was packing to visit a new girlfriend in Albuquerque. \u201cDon\u2019t forget the lube you just overnighted from Amazon. It\u2019s for your trip, right? Hey, I can\u2019t help it if I saw it in our Amazon account.\u201d Busted. We then agreed, it\u2019s time for separate Amazon accounts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">__________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>Steve Bernstein<\/strong> is a plumber turned author whose memoir, <em>Stories from the Stoop<\/em> was published by Skyhorse Publishing in 2021. The memoir is a window into Bernstein\u2019s life growing up in the 1960&#8217;s South Bronx among racial tension, street violence, and trouble at home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>__________<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignleft size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"438\" height=\"211\" src=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/37\/2024\/01\/boudin-logo-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-15484\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/37\/2024\/01\/boudin-logo-1.jpg 438w, https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/37\/2024\/01\/boudin-logo-1-300x145.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 438px) 100vw, 438px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center has-large-font-size\">\ud83e\udca0 <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/2025\/01\/29\/your-blink-blink-blink\/\">Back<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/2025\/01\/28\/we-thought-it-was-freedom-it-was-an-accident-i-swear\/\">Next<\/a> \ud83e\udca1<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">To learn more about submitting your work to <em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/boudin-submissions\/\">Boudin<\/a><\/em> or applying to McNeese State University&#8217;s Creative Writing <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/mfa-application-submissions\/\">MFA program<\/a>, please visit Submissions for details.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Love, Life, and Death on the Amazon Steve Bernstein __________ 10\/14\/15, Amazon purchase: Family Life: A Novel, by Akhil Sharma, Kindle $9.14&nbsp; We were on call for both moms 24\/7. One of the remaining joys my partner and I shared was reading a book together in bed. She read. I nodded off. Dodger lay between&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":42,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[222],"tags":[75,173,14],"class_list":["post-18446","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-winter-extravaganza","tag-boudin","tag-cnf-2","tag-cnf"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18446","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/42"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18446"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18446\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18684,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18446\/revisions\/18684"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18446"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18446"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18446"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}