{"id":18383,"date":"2025-01-28T16:57:53","date_gmt":"2025-01-28T22:57:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/?p=18383"},"modified":"2025-01-31T15:26:19","modified_gmt":"2025-01-31T21:26:19","slug":"trip-to-joshua-tree-life-drawing-engagement","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/2025\/01\/28\/trip-to-joshua-tree-life-drawing-engagement\/","title":{"rendered":"Trip to Joshua Tree, Life Drawing, and Engagement"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"has-large-font-size\"><strong>Trip to Joshua Tree, Life Drawing, &amp; Engagement<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-social-links is-content-justification-right is-layout-flex wp-container-core-social-links-is-layout-765c4724 wp-block-social-links-is-layout-flex\"><li class=\"wp-social-link wp-social-link-facebook  wp-block-social-link\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/profile.php?id=61556140010887\" class=\"wp-block-social-link-anchor\"><svg width=\"24\" height=\"24\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.1\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" aria-hidden=\"true\" focusable=\"false\"><path d=\"M12 2C6.5 2 2 6.5 2 12c0 5 3.7 9.1 8.4 9.9v-7H7.9V12h2.5V9.8c0-2.5 1.5-3.9 3.8-3.9 1.1 0 2.2.2 2.2.2v2.5h-1.3c-1.2 0-1.6.8-1.6 1.6V12h2.8l-.4 2.9h-2.3v7C18.3 21.1 22 17 22 12c0-5.5-4.5-10-10-10z\"><\/path><\/svg><span class=\"wp-block-social-link-label screen-reader-text\">Facebook<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n\n<li class=\"wp-social-link wp-social-link-instagram  wp-block-social-link\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/boudin_mcneese\/\" class=\"wp-block-social-link-anchor\"><svg width=\"24\" height=\"24\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.1\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" aria-hidden=\"true\" focusable=\"false\"><path d=\"M12,4.622c2.403,0,2.688,0.009,3.637,0.052c0.877,0.04,1.354,0.187,1.671,0.31c0.42,0.163,0.72,0.358,1.035,0.673 c0.315,0.315,0.51,0.615,0.673,1.035c0.123,0.317,0.27,0.794,0.31,1.671c0.043,0.949,0.052,1.234,0.052,3.637 s-0.009,2.688-0.052,3.637c-0.04,0.877-0.187,1.354-0.31,1.671c-0.163,0.42-0.358,0.72-0.673,1.035 c-0.315,0.315-0.615,0.51-1.035,0.673c-0.317,0.123-0.794,0.27-1.671,0.31c-0.949,0.043-1.233,0.052-3.637,0.052 s-2.688-0.009-3.637-0.052c-0.877-0.04-1.354-0.187-1.671-0.31c-0.42-0.163-0.72-0.358-1.035-0.673 c-0.315-0.315-0.51-0.615-0.673-1.035c-0.123-0.317-0.27-0.794-0.31-1.671C4.631,14.688,4.622,14.403,4.622,12 s0.009-2.688,0.052-3.637c0.04-0.877,0.187-1.354,0.31-1.671c0.163-0.42,0.358-0.72,0.673-1.035 c0.315-0.315,0.615-0.51,1.035-0.673c0.317-0.123,0.794-0.27,1.671-0.31C9.312,4.631,9.597,4.622,12,4.622 M12,3 C9.556,3,9.249,3.01,8.289,3.054C7.331,3.098,6.677,3.25,6.105,3.472C5.513,3.702,5.011,4.01,4.511,4.511 c-0.5,0.5-0.808,1.002-1.038,1.594C3.25,6.677,3.098,7.331,3.054,8.289C3.01,9.249,3,9.556,3,12c0,2.444,0.01,2.751,0.054,3.711 c0.044,0.958,0.196,1.612,0.418,2.185c0.23,0.592,0.538,1.094,1.038,1.594c0.5,0.5,1.002,0.808,1.594,1.038 c0.572,0.222,1.227,0.375,2.185,0.418C9.249,20.99,9.556,21,12,21s2.751-0.01,3.711-0.054c0.958-0.044,1.612-0.196,2.185-0.418 c0.592-0.23,1.094-0.538,1.594-1.038c0.5-0.5,0.808-1.002,1.038-1.594c0.222-0.572,0.375-1.227,0.418-2.185 C20.99,14.751,21,14.444,21,12s-0.01-2.751-0.054-3.711c-0.044-0.958-0.196-1.612-0.418-2.185c-0.23-0.592-0.538-1.094-1.038-1.594 c-0.5-0.5-1.002-0.808-1.594-1.038c-0.572-0.222-1.227-0.375-2.185-0.418C14.751,3.01,14.444,3,12,3L12,3z M12,7.378 c-2.552,0-4.622,2.069-4.622,4.622S9.448,16.622,12,16.622s4.622-2.069,4.622-4.622S14.552,7.378,12,7.378z M12,15 c-1.657,0-3-1.343-3-3s1.343-3,3-3s3,1.343,3,3S13.657,15,12,15z M16.804,6.116c-0.596,0-1.08,0.484-1.08,1.08 s0.484,1.08,1.08,1.08c0.596,0,1.08-0.484,1.08-1.08S17.401,6.116,16.804,6.116z\"><\/path><\/svg><span class=\"wp-block-social-link-label screen-reader-text\">Instagram<\/span><\/a><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>Merridawn Duckler<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">__________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"font-size:25px\"><strong>Trip to Joshua Tree<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Rocks pile up like slabs of clay in a beginner pottery class. We cut them with a wire, my favorite<br>part. I didn\u2019t care about vessels then. I just wanted to part clay. Humming the U2 album. \u201cWhere the Streets have No Name\u201d \u201cI Can\u2019t Always Find what I\u2019m Looking For\u201d men make whole careers from lacking any sense of direction. Wade into the empty ocean. At that juniper bush the size of a food truck, what looks like shade but is really ten thousand dark berries fork either left or right. Trudge under a rare pure silent blue sky scanning the still formations; ice cold in the crevices, nothing will warm that. Or maybe tea will. Go ahead. Buy the world a porcelain cup. Wire vein thin could divide your heart at any moment. Get a place here. Get a place anywhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">__________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"font-size:25px\"><strong>Life Drawing<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">He waits outside and then comes in and you want a drink? Would you feel more comfortable with someone else here? Cause ordinarily it\u2019s a whole class. Maybe he\u2019d feel more comfortable with someone else here. I could care less. That means just the opposite Mon says. She knows about the gig. She\u2019s in the D\u2019s below in case it goes crunchy. I sent her a pic. Empty room and a bowl of fruit. Big windows. Brown on the banana. He said I look <em>intelligent<\/em>. Cool. Paint my face then wouldya. Yeah, right. Robe drops and me in all my glory. I couldn\u2019t care less. First, I sit on the chair. Couch. Then two chairs. Rug. I get it\u2014he needs to move me around like furniture. Finally, we find something. He says sorry no talk. Now I figure out where my eyes go. Pretend he\u2019s my mutt, embarrassed by my looks of love. Time marches on. There\u2019s a heater but my cheeks are freezing. He throws a blanket over the easel (not me) and lights up. He\u2019s younger than he looks. Got sweat marks underarm. I pull off the blanket and it\u2019s a line of what I might become. Wow. How long you take? Six months sometimes. Nine. A year. I barely had a relationship last that long. Yeah, he says, me either. What do you like marry them? Sometimes. First time he ever smiles. I\u2019m not spending a year on this like this, I say. He says do tell. I mean, I gotta have a say. That\u2019s me. I hear Moni\u2019s texts coming fast and furious. I gotta be all in or I\u2019m out. I could tell that about you he says. That\u2019s the part I fear. That\u2019s why I do this at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">__________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"font-size:25px\"><strong>Engagement<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Every night my brothers fight each other. It starts at that time after evening closes the curtains of the sky but before the unconscious takes the stage. They put their plates in the dishwasher, and hoist themselves up into the attic, large and long with stacked boxes of old costumes. Our parents are actors who leave most nights for rehearsals. I sit down on the floor, cold as a pop. I think of a word like <em>crawlspace<\/em> and concentrate on it to keep quiet so I\u2019m almost invisible. They haul out lights and put up the ring. One brother, Gordon secures the ropes while the other brother, Eric makes sure the spacing is correct. I put my money down on the saucer with the G or the saucer with the E. This is lunch money I save by skipping lunch one day a week. I\u2019m silent about what factors go into my decision but I never change it. Gordon pulls off his shirt, a knit stiped one. He\u2019s nerdy but his body has strong muscles and he\u2019s trim. Eric wears a white or pale blue button-down. He has a white tee underneath and leaves that on. He is also pretty nerdy and softer around the belly but his moves are fast. Gordon makes warrior faces, his teeth bared. Eric rises up and down on the balls of his feet, forming fists and letting them go. They take their stance and either Eric or Gordon sounds the bell. The battle begins. They punch the air around each other\u2019s head, they sweep kick and the dust makes devils. They grunt with effort. Sometimes they\u2019ll stop, hands at parry, and listen to see if our parents have come home early. The air smells of sweat and klieg. Three rounds, no ties. The winner is by mutual decision. If I called the bout the defeated brother doubles my money. If I picked a bad beat, the other one scoops my coin. I mostly win. At the end they bow briefly and shake hands. Everything packed away, my brothers let themselves down from the ceiling opening, landing lightly on their feet. I go through the crawlspace. When father and mother come home they turn off my light, kiss me on the forehead or rustle my hair and call me by an old name from when I was a baby. I stare at the ceiling, going over the details of the fight, my brothers circling, looking for a sign of weakness, trying out a new skill. The shadows from branches outside my bedroom window tap in code. The year I become engaged I take my fianc\u00e9e into my childhood bedroom and make him lay down next to me. I turn my head and say: teach me to fight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">__________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>Merridawn Duckler<\/strong>&nbsp;is a writer and visual artist from Oregon. She won the CNF flash contest at Invisible City, judged by Heather Christle. Flash in Hobart, Gone Lawn, Painted Bride Quarterly, Pembroke. Author of&nbsp;<em>INTERSTATE&nbsp;<\/em>(dancing girl press)&nbsp;<em>IDIOM&nbsp;<\/em>(Harbor Review)&nbsp;<em>MISSPENT YOUTH<\/em>&nbsp;(rinky dink press) and the flash fiction collection&nbsp;<em>ARRANGEMENT<\/em>&nbsp;(Southernmost Books).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>__________<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignleft size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"438\" height=\"211\" src=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/37\/2024\/01\/boudin-logo-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-15484\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/37\/2024\/01\/boudin-logo-1.jpg 438w, https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/37\/2024\/01\/boudin-logo-1-300x145.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 438px) 100vw, 438px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center has-large-font-size\">\ud83e\udca0 <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/2025\/01\/28\/entomology\/\">Back<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/2025\/01\/28\/stop-sign-where-we-were-where-we-came-to\/\">Next<\/a> \ud83e\udca1<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">To learn more about submitting your work to <em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/boudin-submissions\/\">Boudin<\/a><\/em> or applying to McNeese State University&#8217;s Creative Writing <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/mfa-application-submissions\/\">MFA program<\/a>, please visit Submissions for details.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Trip to Joshua Tree, Life Drawing, &amp; Engagement Merridawn Duckler __________ Trip to Joshua Tree Rocks pile up like slabs of clay in a beginner pottery class. We cut them with a wire, my favoritepart. I didn\u2019t care about vessels then. I just wanted to part clay. Humming the U2 album. \u201cWhere the Streets have&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":42,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[222],"tags":[75,100,77,26],"class_list":["post-18383","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-winter-extravaganza","tag-boudin","tag-flashfiction","tag-mcneesereview","tag-fiction"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18383","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/42"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18383"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18383\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18747,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18383\/revisions\/18747"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18383"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18383"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18383"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}