{"id":13747,"date":"2020-05-22T14:00:35","date_gmt":"2020-05-22T19:00:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/drivers-ed-by-david-armand\/"},"modified":"2026-05-04T12:32:00","modified_gmt":"2026-05-04T17:32:00","slug":"drivers-ed-by-david-armand","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/2020\/05\/22\/drivers-ed-by-david-armand\/","title":{"rendered":"Drivers Ed by David Armand"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<ul class=\"wp-block-social-links is-content-justification-right is-layout-flex wp-container-core-social-links-is-layout-765c4724 wp-block-social-links-is-layout-flex\"><li class=\"wp-social-link wp-social-link-facebook  wp-block-social-link\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/profile.php?id=61556140010887\" class=\"wp-block-social-link-anchor\"><svg width=\"24\" height=\"24\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.1\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" aria-hidden=\"true\" focusable=\"false\"><path d=\"M12 2C6.5 2 2 6.5 2 12c0 5 3.7 9.1 8.4 9.9v-7H7.9V12h2.5V9.8c0-2.5 1.5-3.9 3.8-3.9 1.1 0 2.2.2 2.2.2v2.5h-1.3c-1.2 0-1.6.8-1.6 1.6V12h2.8l-.4 2.9h-2.3v7C18.3 21.1 22 17 22 12c0-5.5-4.5-10-10-10z\"><\/path><\/svg><span class=\"wp-block-social-link-label screen-reader-text\">Facebook<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n\n<li class=\"wp-social-link wp-social-link-instagram  wp-block-social-link\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/boudin_mcneese\/\" class=\"wp-block-social-link-anchor\"><svg width=\"24\" height=\"24\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.1\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" aria-hidden=\"true\" focusable=\"false\"><path d=\"M12,4.622c2.403,0,2.688,0.009,3.637,0.052c0.877,0.04,1.354,0.187,1.671,0.31c0.42,0.163,0.72,0.358,1.035,0.673 c0.315,0.315,0.51,0.615,0.673,1.035c0.123,0.317,0.27,0.794,0.31,1.671c0.043,0.949,0.052,1.234,0.052,3.637 s-0.009,2.688-0.052,3.637c-0.04,0.877-0.187,1.354-0.31,1.671c-0.163,0.42-0.358,0.72-0.673,1.035 c-0.315,0.315-0.615,0.51-1.035,0.673c-0.317,0.123-0.794,0.27-1.671,0.31c-0.949,0.043-1.233,0.052-3.637,0.052 s-2.688-0.009-3.637-0.052c-0.877-0.04-1.354-0.187-1.671-0.31c-0.42-0.163-0.72-0.358-1.035-0.673 c-0.315-0.315-0.51-0.615-0.673-1.035c-0.123-0.317-0.27-0.794-0.31-1.671C4.631,14.688,4.622,14.403,4.622,12 s0.009-2.688,0.052-3.637c0.04-0.877,0.187-1.354,0.31-1.671c0.163-0.42,0.358-0.72,0.673-1.035 c0.315-0.315,0.615-0.51,1.035-0.673c0.317-0.123,0.794-0.27,1.671-0.31C9.312,4.631,9.597,4.622,12,4.622 M12,3 C9.556,3,9.249,3.01,8.289,3.054C7.331,3.098,6.677,3.25,6.105,3.472C5.513,3.702,5.011,4.01,4.511,4.511 c-0.5,0.5-0.808,1.002-1.038,1.594C3.25,6.677,3.098,7.331,3.054,8.289C3.01,9.249,3,9.556,3,12c0,2.444,0.01,2.751,0.054,3.711 c0.044,0.958,0.196,1.612,0.418,2.185c0.23,0.592,0.538,1.094,1.038,1.594c0.5,0.5,1.002,0.808,1.594,1.038 c0.572,0.222,1.227,0.375,2.185,0.418C9.249,20.99,9.556,21,12,21s2.751-0.01,3.711-0.054c0.958-0.044,1.612-0.196,2.185-0.418 c0.592-0.23,1.094-0.538,1.594-1.038c0.5-0.5,0.808-1.002,1.038-1.594c0.222-0.572,0.375-1.227,0.418-2.185 C20.99,14.751,21,14.444,21,12s-0.01-2.751-0.054-3.711c-0.044-0.958-0.196-1.612-0.418-2.185c-0.23-0.592-0.538-1.094-1.038-1.594 c-0.5-0.5-1.002-0.808-1.594-1.038c-0.572-0.222-1.227-0.375-2.185-0.418C14.751,3.01,14.444,3,12,3L12,3z M12,7.378 c-2.552,0-4.622,2.069-4.622,4.622S9.448,16.622,12,16.622s4.622-2.069,4.622-4.622S14.552,7.378,12,7.378z M12,15 c-1.657,0-3-1.343-3-3s1.343-3,3-3s3,1.343,3,3S13.657,15,12,15z M16.804,6.116c-0.596,0-1.08,0.484-1.08,1.08 s0.484,1.08,1.08,1.08c0.596,0,1.08-0.484,1.08-1.08S17.401,6.116,16.804,6.116z\"><\/path><\/svg><span class=\"wp-block-social-link-label screen-reader-text\">Instagram<\/span><\/a><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-large-font-size\"><strong>Drivers Ed<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>David Armand<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">__________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">It\u2019s Saturday. Early in the morning and my parents are already dropping me off at a strip mall in downtown Covington, Louisiana, where I\u2019m going to spend the next eight hours taking a drivers education course so that I can get my license the following week. I\u2019m only fifteen, but back then you could do that. No semester-long classes during high school. No learners permit. Back then you could just get your license after a one-day class. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\tIt\u2019s cool outside, and overcast, the gray clouds hanging low and spraying a damp mist on the otherwise empty parking lot. I get out of my parents\u2019 car and walk toward the building, and then I hear them pull out and drive away. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\tI see a couple of other kids about my age milling around just inside the door, a few of them at a desk shuffling papers, and I walk in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">The room is spare, like an office building: Berber carpet and gray-white walls with nothing on them save for a few of those inspirational posters that you can buy at Office Depot: a lion overlooking a vast savannah with the word PRIDE emblazoned in golden letters beneath his strong, swishing tail; a formation of jets cutting across a perfectly clear blue sky, the word TEAMWORK riding under the trails of white clouds being emitted from their wings. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">There\u2019s a conference table stretching the distance of the narrow room, a TV\/VCR cart at the head of the table where a video is already set up, but paused on the tiny screen, the little lines of static sizzling across the frozen image like arteries. I walk to the end of the room and sit down in one of the plastic chairs. Then I wait while the instructor shuffles some papers into a clipboard. He finally approaches the front of the room. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cI\u2019m Gregg,\u201d he says, his smile revealing a mouth full of perfectly-white teeth. \u201cHow many of you guys are ready to <em>drive<\/em>!\u201d It\u2019s more of an exclamation the way he says it, less of a question, which might be why no one really says anything in response.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cOkay,\u201d he says, a little less excitedly, maybe even a little defeated by our lack of enthusiasm. \u201cLet\u2019s get started then.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">We spend the morning watching videos about driving safety, seatbelt use, hazardous weather conditions, road signs. Occasionally Gregg pauses the video so we can take a quiz, review information we\u2019d just seen. Yet Gregg\u2019s mood seems to darken as the day wears on. I\u2019ll never know why. Maybe it\u2019s the overcast sky outside, but his energy level seems to be slowly draining, like soapy gray dishwater in a sink. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center has-medium-font-size\"><strong>*<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">When it\u2019s time for lunch, I walk a couple of blocks to hang out with this girl I know from school. We\u2019d been friends for a couple of years, and since she lives close by, I figure I can drop in and we can eat lunch or something together. Her name\u2019s Chrissy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cWhat are you doing here?\u201d she asks when she opens the door. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">After I tell her about Drivers Ed, she says, \u201cOh.\u201d Then she asks me if I want to come in. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cSure,\u201d I say. The sky is still worked up into a steady drizzle and I don\u2019t have an umbrella or anything, so my hair and shirt and clothes are fairly damp. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Chrissy hands me a towel as we walk inside, and I follow her to the kitchen as I dry off my hair and clothes. Then we sit down and eat some Fritos and talk a little.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cWhere\u2019s your mom?\u201d I ask her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cAt work.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cCool.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cHey, I have an idea,\u201d she says suddenly. \u201cYou want to do some shots?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cWhiskey? Vodka? I don\u2019t know. I have some of those little bottles like they used to give people on airplanes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cSure,\u201d I say. \u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cCool. My mom keeps a bunch of \u2019em in the cabinet up there. She won\u2019t ever know they\u2019re gone. She has like fifty of them.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">I watch her get up, pull the chair she\u2019s been sitting on across the linoleum and toward the counter, where she stands up and reaches into one of the cabinets. She brings down a half dozen tiny bottles\u2014three Evan Williams with the green label on them and three bottles of Taaka vodka. She comes over to the table, puts her chair back, and sits down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">We drink a few bottles each. I have the bourbon, she has the vodka, and with our empty stomachs, we get drunk fast. A couple of times she rubs on my calf with her foot. She\u2019s wearing socks and no shoes. But I\u2019m starting to get nervous about getting back to class on time, hoping I\u2019m not too drunk. I pull my leg back and stick it between the wooden rungs of my chair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cI probably should get back,\u201d I say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cYeah,\u201d she says. \u201cI guess I\u2019ll see you in school on Monday?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cProbably.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">When I stand up the booze really starts to hit me. My head spins a little bit and my skin feels kind of tingly and weird, probably because I haven\u2019t eaten anything all day except for those Fritos. Chrissy doesn\u2019t have any food to offer me. She doesn\u2019t have any gum or any mints either. I just hope Gregg won\u2019t smell the alcohol on my breath. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">I walk back to class through the rain, feeling buzzed, the leaves on the trees and the grass glistening in the misty air. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">And so I\u2019m a little late getting back.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cSo kind of you to join us, Mr. Armand,\u201d Gregg says. Everyone laughs. \u201cYou\u2019re fifteen minutes late,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cSorry,\u201d I say, \u201cI kind of lost track of time.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Gregg doesn\u2019t say anything, just clicks his white teeth with his tongue and rolls his eyes, then points to the empty seat where I had been sitting earlier. I can feel him watching me as I walk over to it and sit. I slouch down as low as I can. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">The rest of the afternoon is somewhat of a blur. The girl sitting next to me\u2014her name is Fallon\u2014finally whispers into my ear. \u201cJesus, man, you\u2019re <em>drunk<\/em>. I can freakin\u2019 <em>smell<\/em> the booze on you. Where\u2019d you even <em>go<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cNowhere,\u201d I say. \u201cI just went to get a hamburger.\u201d My head starts to throb a little bit. \u201cAnd I\u2019m not drunk,\u201d I say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cYeah, right,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\tWe spend the rest of the afternoon filling out paperwork and then taking the final test that will determine if we receive credit for this course, thus enabling us to get our licenses the following week. I\u2019m trying very hard to concentrate, to make sure I get as many answers right as I can. But my head is spinning, my skin is still tingling, and I keep wanting to laugh at the pictures on the test: the friendly police officers, the smiling crossing guards. All these happy families driving together, the wind blowing their hair, their eyes covered with dark sunglasses. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\tWhen I am about three-quarters done, I see my parents pull up outside. Gregg looks out of the window from where he is sitting at his desk, reading a copy of <em>News on Wheels<\/em>. I can see their headlights through the rain, the windshield wipers sluicing water back and forth across the glass. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\t\u201cI\u2019ll be right back,\u201d Gregg says. \u201cEveryone, keep your eyes on your own tests.\u201d Then he looks at his wristwatch and walks out the door. The little bell at its corner jingles brightly. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\tFallon looks at me, whispers, \u201cIsn\u2019t that your parents?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\t\u201cYeah,\u201d I say, trying to keep my eyes on my test so the room won\u2019t start spinning. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\t\u201cWhy are they so early?\u201d Fallon says. \u201cIt\u2019s only like three o\u2019clock.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\t\u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d I say. And I really don\u2019t have any idea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\tA minute or two later, Gregg comes back inside grinning and shaking his head. But he does not look happy. Or amused.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\t\u201cY\u2019all,\u201d he says, interrupting our test. Everyone looks up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\t\u201cEverything you\u2019ve been told today about what <em>not<\/em> to do behind the wheel of a car, those people outside are doing. If I didn\u2019t know better, I\u2019d think this was some kind of joke. Like on <em>Candid Camera<\/em>. \u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\tThen Fallon suddenly says, and loud enough so that the whole class can hear this time, \u201cDavid, isn\u2019t that <em>your<\/em> parents?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\tI don\u2019t say anything. I try to pretend I\u2019m still concentrating on my test, that I haven\u2019t noticed my parents outside, but Fallon says it again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\t\u201cDavid,\u201d she says. \u201cLook. That\u2019s <em>your<\/em> parents in that car he\u2019s talking about, isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\tNow everyone in the classroom is looking out the window. Gregg is also looking, as if maybe he had imagined the whole thing, but occasionally he turns and stares back at me, as though he\u2019s trying to make a connection between two electrical circuits that have been split apart. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\t\u201cMr. Armand,\u201d he says. \u201cCan you come up here for a second?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\tI stand, a bit wobbly, and start walking toward his desk. I just hope he can\u2019t smell the booze on my breath.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\tAs I hover in front of Gregg, I see the paperwork he\u2019s been filling out all afternoon, the red checks and Xs next to our names. I have no idea what these could indicate. But I don\u2019t have a chance to see what mark is next to my name before Gregg finally says, \u201cSo those are <em>your<\/em> parents out there?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\t\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\t\u201cI want you to do me a favor then. I want you to go out there and tell them that I work for the Sheriff\u2019s office and that I can have both of them arrested right now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\t\u201cWhy?\u201d I say. \u201cWhat are they doing?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\t\u201cWell, for one,\u201d he says, looking up at the class and noticing that we\u2019re being watched, then tuning his voice down to a whisper, \u201cneither one of them is wearing a seatbelt, there\u2019s an open can of beer in the console, and your mom is holding a child <em>in her<\/em> <em>lap<\/em>.\u201d He emphasizes these last words as though it is the most unheard-of concept one can imagine. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\t\u201cOh, that\u2019s my little sister,\u201d I say. \u201cShe usually rides in her car seat. My mom probably just took her out since they\u2019re parked right there. She was probably just crying or something.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\t\u201cWell, either way, just go out there and tell them what I told you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\tI start toward the door, just wanting this to all be over. Then Gregg says, \u201cAnd I\u2019m not really a cop. Just tell them that anyway, though. See what they say.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\tAs I walk outside into the rain, I can hear the rest of the class whispering and laughing quietly. The little overhead bell chirps again and I try to think of how I can explain this to my parents. My dad has a very bad temper, especially when he\u2019s been drinking, and I know he won\u2019t hesitate to cause a scene. I know that he would probably <em>enjoy<\/em> kicking the shit out of someone like Gregg. I just can\u2019t give him an excuse to do so. Plus I can\u2019t let him know that I\u2019ve been drinking myself. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">When I get to the car, the rain has slackened to a warm and steady mist, but the sky is still gray and overcast. I walk to the passenger side of the car where my mom is sitting, and indeed, as Gregg had said, she\u2019s holding my little sister in her lap. My mom rolls down the window. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cAlmost finished?\u201d she says, as though nothing at all is out of the ordinary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cYeah,\u201d I say. \u201cAlmost. He just has to grade our tests and stuff.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">My dad is sitting there behind the wheel, the engine idling, a cold can of Budweiser between his legs, darkening his jeans where the condensation is building up on his thighs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\t\u201cThat guy that just came out here is your teacher?\u201d he says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\t\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\t\u201cWhen you go back in there, do me a favor and tell him I said he\u2019s an asshole.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\t\u201c<em>Bryan<\/em>,\u201d my mom says to him, as if talking to a child.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\tI laugh a little bit, still trying to think of a way to avoid provoking my dad\u2019s temper by telling him what Gregg had said about him. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\t\u201cI should go in there and beat his fucking ass,\u201d my dad says. He takes a gulp from his beer. At least that will keep him from smelling the booze on <em>me<\/em>, I think.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\t\u201cWhy?\u201d I say. \u201cWhat\u2019d he tell y\u2019all?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\t\u201cNothing,\u201d my dad says. \u201cHe\u2019s just a little prick.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\tI don\u2019t know what to say, so I just stand there in the rain. I look back toward the building and can see our reflections in the tinted windows. I imagine everyone in the class staring out at us and laughing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\t\u201cWell, just get your ass back in there and finish your test,\u201d my dad says. His cheeks are beer-reddened and he looks angry and drunk. Way more drunk than I am. Though neither of my parents seems to notice that, thankfully. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\t\u201cOkay,\u201d I say. \u201cBut that guy wanted me to come out here and tell you he was with the Sheriff\u2019s office. He said that y\u2019all shouldn\u2019t be riding around without seatbelts and that open beer can.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\t\u201cWhat?\u201d my dad says. Now his hand is on the door handle as if he\u2019s about to get out of the car. My mom touches her fingers against his arm.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\t\u201cBryan. Wait,\u201d she says. Then she looks at me. \u201cWhy\u2019d he tell you all that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\t\u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d I say. \u201cJust don\u2019t do anything. <em>Please<\/em>. I\u2019ll be done in a minute.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\t\u201cThat little motherfucker,\u201d my dad says, looking out through the wet windshield and at the door behind which Gregg is likely standing, looking back at us. But my dad doesn\u2019t get out of the car, and Gregg doesn\u2019t come back out into the rain. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\tInstead, I go inside, finish my test, then watch Gregg as he marks it up. I breathe carefully through my nose, hoping he can\u2019t smell the alcohol on me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\t\u201cWell,\u201d he finally says. \u201cCongratulations. You passed.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\tHe starts to fill out another form, then looks up at me. \u201cSo what did your folks say? About me being a cop?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\t\u201cNothing,\u201d I say. \u201cMy mom\u2019s going to drive us home, put my little sister back in her car seat.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\t\u201cGood,\u201d Gregg says, looking proud of himself for what he\u2019d said earlier. Then he hands me the certificate that says I passed the course. \u201cAnd I sure do hope you never pick up any of their bad habits,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\t\u201cI won\u2019t,\u201d I say, my head still spinning\u2014knowing that I already have.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"> Then I stumble a little bit through the door and outside, still drunk, and into the rain, where my parents are waiting for me so we can all just drive back home. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">__________<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>David Armand<\/strong> is an assistant professor of creative writing at Southeastern Louisiana University, where he served as Writer-in-Residence from 2017-2019. In 2010, he won the George Garrett Fiction Prize for his first novel, <em>The Pugilist\u2019s Wife<\/em>, which was published by Texas Review Press. He has since published two more novels, two collections of poetry, and a memoir, with a seventh book, <em>The Lord\u2019s Acre<\/em>, forthcoming this fall from Texas Review Press. David is currently working on a collection of essays, several of which have appeared in <em><a href=\"http:\/\/deepsouthmag.com\/2018\/07\/03\/independence-day\/\">Deep South Magazine<\/a><\/em>, <em><a href=\"http:\/\/drafthorse.lmunet.edu\/summer2015\/nonfiction\/armand.shtml\">drafthorse<\/a><\/em>, <em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.hobartpulp.com\/web_features\/my-first-game-console-nintendo-entertainment-system\">Hobart<\/a><\/em>, and others. More about David and his work can be found on his <a href=\"http:\/\/www.davidarmandauthor.com\/\">website<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>__________<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignleft size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"438\" height=\"211\" src=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/37\/2024\/01\/boudin-logo-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-15484\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/37\/2024\/01\/boudin-logo-1.jpg 438w, https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/37\/2024\/01\/boudin-logo-1-300x145.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 438px) 100vw, 438px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center has-large-font-size\">&lt;&lt; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/2020\/06\/01\/three-poems-by-sara-moore-wagner\/\">Back<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/2020\/06\/09\/two-hybrid-pieces-by-bryce-berkowitz\/\">Next<\/a> &gt;&gt;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">To learn more about submitting your work to <em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/boudin-submissions\/\">Boudin<\/a><\/em> or applying to McNeese State University&#8217;s Creative Writing <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/mfa-application-submissions\/\">MFA program<\/a>, please visit Submissions for details.<\/p>\n\n\n<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Drivers Ed David Armand __________ It\u2019s Saturday. Early in the morning and my parents are already dropping me off at a strip mall in downtown Covington, Louisiana, where I\u2019m going to spend the next eight hours taking a drivers education course so that I can get my license the following week. I\u2019m only fifteen, but&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[252,45],"tags":[75,96,77],"class_list":["post-13747","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-boudin-2020","category-non-fiction","tag-boudin","tag-davidarmand","tag-mcneesereview"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13747","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13747"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13747\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22361,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13747\/revisions\/22361"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13747"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13747"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mcneese.edu\/thereview\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13747"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}