The Parent's Perspective

As a parent, you now need to recognize that someone close to you is going to college. It is important to understand that everything you will go through is normal. For the parents, evidence of successful separation is their ability to develop an adult relationship with their student. Separation does not mean a lack of connection. Learn to expect the unexpected and that there are no right or wrong decisions, only new experiences.

Here are some thoughts and tips that will assist you and your student as you progress through this early transition.

	Remember to be continually loving, supportive, and caring
	Affirm confidence in student potential
	Send packages often
	Keep your sense of humor
	Praise accomplishments
	Consistently communicate with your student
	Always forward student mail without reading it
	Don't compare your student to others (friends, siblings, etc.)
	Accept the choice of major; it rarely determines a career
	Keep in mind that time management is a challenge for students
	Understand that forming an identity and becoming involved in college is as important as math and history.
	Talk about something other than grades
	Listen, Listen, Listen
	Trust your student

What the Students Are Saying

	What McNeese students say promotes positive relationships between themselves and their parents/support group.
	My parents told me as long as I was doing my best, that was good enough for them. They also told me to enjoy college and have fun.
	My parents and I are very close. They let me go out on my own, but they have always let me know they were there for me.
	College is a great experience, but a time for growth. If parents are supportive, students will be appreciative.
	My parents really surprised me. They were so supportive when I moved here. It made the transition much easier knowing they were behind me 100%.
	Being part of all the different organizations has been the highlight of college. I feel important to McNeese; I’m not just another student. My parents encouraged my extracurricular activities.
	As a parent, you should support your student to get involved with campus organizations. When a student is involved they tend to be more successful.
	As a parent, know that students will not always ask for help, so let them know you will be there for them no matter what.
	The best thing my parents did for me was letting me make my own decisions concerning school. I also enjoy receiving cards throughout the semester.
	The best thing parents can do for their kids is to allow them to make their own decisions. However, if he or she falls, the parents should be there to help them back up.
	Parents need to understand that their children are going to change and find new and interesting things. If you are supportive they will appreciate it.
	Parents should realize that their son or daughter will not always ask for help, but let them know that you are always there for them regardless.
	I appreciate the fact that my parents have allowed me to make my own decisions even though they don’t always agree with theirs.

Suggested Readings

	Almost Grown: Launching Your Child From High School to College
	Patricia Pasick
	W.W. Norton and Company, 1998
	Countdown to College: Preparing Your Student for Success in the Collegiate Universe
	Shawn Anderson
	Blue Bird Publishing, 1997
	Letting Go: A Parents’ Guide to Understanding the College Years
	Kevin Coburn and Madge Treeger
	Harper Collins Publishers, 1997
	The College Guide for Parents
	Charles Shields and Renee Gerand (eds.)
	College Board Publications, 1994
	When Kids Go To College, A Parent’s Guide to Changing Relationships
	B.M. Newman and P.R. Newman
	Ohio State University, 1992
	A New Beginning: Survival Guide for Parents of College Freshmen
	Kaye Bernard
	McGarry, 1998